Monthly Archives: September 2014

Crazy Dancing

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There are many things I do on a regular basis if I’m feeling down.  Random dancing is one of those things.  And by random I mean crank the music up and just go to town!  I know I’m doing it correctly if I start laughing at myself.  I spin, I jump, I throw in some dance moves that even Michael Jackson wouldn’t attempt and I just have fun.  Plus, it ends up being a nice little workout.

Some people would ask why I do this.  It’s silly, yes, but it makes me happy.  For just a moment I’m able to have fun and be a kid again.  I am able to laugh and forget that I have bills to pay, deadlines coming up and tests to study for.  It’s the small things, like random dancing, that remind me that it’s okay to act crazy and to have fun while doing it.  As adults we spend our lives doing grownup stuff and it often wears us down.  When I go hiking, traveling, dancing, etc. I am able to get away from all of that.  Those things rebuild by spirit and mend my soul.

I work as a 911 Operator for two different counties.  Full time day shift at one and part-time night shift at the other so there are some weeks when I am just exhausted.  I come home after a long, stressful 12 hour shift and all I want to do is sleep, however, I still make time for crazy dancing and other things that bring me happiness.  People who suffer from depression often get into the rut of feeling down, lonely or tired so we forget about the things that once made us happy.  All this does is start the downward spiral that eventually ends with us curled into a fetal position under our covers crying like a baby for no apparent reason.  I’ve said it before and will say it again, in order to defeat depression you must become a daily active participant in your recovery.  Yes, we may be tired at the end of the day, but a 10 minute walk isn’t going to hurt.

I’d like to challenge everyone who reads this (whether or not you suffer from depression) to take at least two days this week and do something you enjoy.  I don’t care if it’s petting your dog on the couch or going white water rafting.  Do something that brings you joy and makes you smile.  And if you can’t think of anything, do some crazy dancing!  You’ll be amazed at how it might just raise your spirits 😉

My Search for Happiness

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How does one define happiness?  Is it something we can see, smell, hear, touch, give away, steal, find or maybe even create?  Why is it that happiness for one person is not the same happiness for someone else?  Is true happiness only available in the form of a pill or can real happiness be found within ourselves?  Buddhist monks, for centuries, have probably been some of the happiest people in the world, yet they have remarkable little material belongings.  They don’t need “things” to bring about happiness, so how do they do it?

I have suffered from depression for years which eventually led me down a scary and rocky path of drug addiction, unsafe sex, alcoholism and a very well needed stay in a psychiatric hospital and rehab facility.  Since then I have focused on eastern medicine, and hopefully finding happiness without using a pill at some point.  Going on hikes, traveling, watching the sunset, walking barefoot through dew-covered grass early in the morning, dancing in the rain, cooking, kayaking, skinny dipping, learning to laugh, playing with puppies…you know, all that stuff that is supposed to make people happy.  Those are the things that I focus on now.  Even now, there are still days when I have to pry myself out of the bed, but I know that it’s the healthiest thing for me to do.  I refuse to allow even one day to pass without allowing myself to fully enjoy every moment.  Yes, there will be bad days, but I know that a storm doesn’t last forever!  The thing with battling depression is that you must be an active participant in your recovery.  You must pursue happiness and some days you have to use every bit of strength  you have to make yourself do at least one thing to make you happy.

It’s not an easy journey, but so far it’s been a fun one!  Since June 16th 2012 I have overcome by addiction to prescription medication, beat the urge to abuse alcohol, lost 135lbs and have now become a much healthier person…physically, mentally and spiritually!  I want to prove to people that it’s possible to be truly happy in an age when most people are incredibly miserable.

I invite you to take this journey with me!  I won’t post every day and there will be times when I may even bore you to death,  but I promise to share my story and to share my expeditions with anyone who will listen!  I’ve started blogs before in the past and told myself I would post at least three times a week, yet I always fail to do so then I just give up all together.  This time will be different, for I won’t actually set a goal, but will simply write when I can.

So here I go on my search for happiness…join me?? 🙂