Tag Archives: positivity

Making Social Media a Positive Experience

Standard

If you’re like me then at one point you either deleted/deactivated some or all of your social media accounts, or you at least gave it some thought. However, I want to address how you can actually turn social media into a positive and uplifting experience. I’ll mostly be referring to Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, but the rules should apply to all of social media.

The first, and most important step in my opinion is to unfollow certain pages or people. Now, there is a difference in unfriending and unfollowing someone. On Facebook you can unfollow someone without unfriending them. All this does is simply stop showing you their posts. But don’t get me wrong, if you feel the need to unfriend someone because of their negative or hurtful posts, then by all means, go for it. I even use the block feature sometimes, but only when someone attacks me personally or takes time out of their day to direct certain things at me. Tagging, private messaging, constantly arguing or posting negative things on the posts that I share will all lead to my blocking a person. However, I typically unfollow or unfriend people instead of blocking. “But Chase, the negative person is my family! I can’t unfriend them!” Okay, but you can unfollow them under notifications. That button works exactly the same for someone you’re related to or someone who’s a complete stranger. Don’t be afraid to use it. You have every right to block out negativity if you find it affecting you. Just because someone is kin doesn’t mean you should tolerate toxic, negative, or abusive behavior. Don’t excuse what they do just because they’re blood. You deserve better than that.

The next step goes right along with unfollowing, and that’s my following certain pages or people who are always positive, happy, and post good things. I have several pages that I follow on Facebook, and I went to their page and changed notifications to “See First”. That means I will see their posts on my timeline above others. When I’m scrolling through my timeline I see the things these pages post first. I have weeded my way through many pages and changed notification settings for “See First” on many of the really positive pages that I’d like to see on a regular basis. Also, by liking or commenting on posts by these pages the algorithm of Facebook will make sure you see these posts more often.

Alright, so let’s take a breath here because this next step is going to be difficult for most. STOP INTERACTING WITH NEGATIVE PEOPLE/PAGES! Just because someone says something you disagree with doesn’t mean you have to comment on it. Unless you have an educated opinion, and aren’t just speaking out of anger or hurt, then you should just move on. Feel free to unfriend or unfollow the page/person. I do this often. Not everyone is going to share your opinion, and that’s okay, but just because I disagree with someone doesn’t mean I have to get involved. This typically leads to an argument, which will negatively effect me the rest of the day. I hate that feeling. So the best thing is to just keep scrolling. I also avoid reading the comment sections on some of the posts or videos I see because I know there’s a 99% chance that someone will have something negative to say no matter how positive the video or post. Sometimes it takes a bigger person to simply walk away from a situation. The minute you begin, or participate in an argument you’ve lowered yourself to their level. There are literally people online who seem to have a daily goal of just ticking people off. Don’t let them win.

The next step is to not only watch/read/like things that make you happy, smile, or laugh, but to also share those things with your friends. I constantly share motivational quotes, cute animal videos, laughing baby videos (those are my faves!), and posts that restore my faith in humanity. Be the kind of person online that you want to follow and interact with on a regular basis. Don’t share negative things and stop posting drama.

My final step, and one I rarely use, is to report certain posts or people. Please understand that this should be used as a last resort. When do you report someone? If their post violate the terms and policies of the social media website. For example, if someone posts something extremely violent, threatens suicide or harm towards others, posts nudity, something regarding sex/child trafficking, constant harassment/bullying, etc. then please report those posts. Do NOT be that person that is constantly reporting someone just because they disagree with you. Please reserve this for dangerous, violent, or sexual posts.

I can honestly say that by doing these things I have literally created a positive/happy Facebook/Instagram timeline. I can scroll through FB or IG each day and see literally nothing but happy and positive posts. I see/share things that make me smile because I know if it makes me happy then maybe it will make someone else smile, and you never know who may need it!

So let’s go over this one more time:
1. Unfollow/unfriend certain pages and people.
2. Follow positive happy pages/people & change notifications to where you see those posts first each day.
3. Stop interacting with negative people. Don’t participate in arguments online. Just because you disagree doesn’t mean you need to voice your opinion. Be the bigger person.
4. Share things with others that make you happy/smile/laugh. Be the person online that you would like to interact with.
5. As a last resort, feel free to report dangerous, violent, sexual, or harmful posts or people to FB/IG/Twitter if it violates their terms, policies, and community guidelines.

I hope this helps! Let me know if you try any of these steps and if it makes a difference! 🙂

-Chase

**Speaking of social media, feel free to follow my blog on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter 🙂

2020 Vision

Standard

As 2019 comes to a close people will inevitably start talking about their New Years Resolutions! Lose weight, save more money, cut back on splurges, go back to school, etc. However, you don’t have to have some huge drastic resolution. Most of those are left by the wayside by the end of February anyways. Sometimes the only resolution we can make is to just keep pushing forward and hopefully do better tomorrow than we did today. Granted, it’s not a “normal” resolution, but for me it is. There are days that I really struggle. Sometimes just getting out of bed before noon feels like an accomplishment and should be rewarded with at least a participation award. Yet other days I thrive and I’m up by 8am with coffee poured, music playing, laundry in the wash, and half of my house already cleaned by 9am. These are two very different days and I never know which one I’m going to have until it happens. I wake up in a great mood, or not so great mood, but how I handle that is on me. I can allow it to bother me and bring me down, or I can make myself go. I can continue through my morning routine of positive affirmations, stretching/yoga, listening to music, drinking coffee, cleaning house, playing with Maggie (my doggo!), and then starting work. Normally by the time I’m ready to start working my day has already changed for the better. It’s amazing what will happen when I focus on the positives and not the negatives. You’ll hear me say a lot (if you continue reading my blog, and I REALLY hope you do) that you must be an ACTIVE participant in your recovery. I take mental health meds every single morning, but that doesn’t mean I can remain in bed and expect them to magically work. Absolutely not! I have to work with them. I have to become more active, eat better, listen to upbeat music, read inspiring books, talk to positive happy people, and I have to be present. The medicine will only do so much, but we have to do part of the work too. It’s not easy, and sometimes it sucks, but it will only get worse if we don’t try. It’s like training for a marathon only to arrive on the day of the run and expect all your training will run the marathon for you. Nope, not how it works sugar! You have the skills and your muscles are stronger, but you still have to put forth the effort to get to the finish line. Let’s do it together!

I’ve already heard sooooo many people talking about 2020 vision for this coming year. Yeah, it’s a cute pun, but I wish I had 2020 vision for my future. I wish I had a crystal ball that could tell me everything that was going to happen in the next year so I could prepare for it. I wish I could see all the bad and good things that are going to happen, but I can’t. The lesson here is we have to learn to trust our higher power, whatever you may call it. I call it Spirit, some call it God. Whatever works for you, we have to believe that this Universe is too big for things to just happen. We are not always in control, and sometimes that for the best. Over the past two years I’ve had some wild stuff happen and it’s because I had quit being active in my recovery. I relapsed (on pain medicine and in my mental health), I quit doing the things I KNEW helped my mental illness, and I began to isolate myself, a lot. The crazy thing is that when it comes to those things I sort of do have 2020 vision. I know that if I start doing those things I will get worse, my mental health will decline, and typically a drug relapse is not far behind. Yet, when all this happens many of us think, “How did I not see this coming? How did I not catch it?” Well, chances are we did see it coming. And if we didn’t, I can assure you our family and friends saw it. When bad things happen, especially dealing with my addiction or mental health, I tend to say, “Well hindsight is 2020.” Yet it takes me a while to learn that if I had been more present each day I would’ve caught on to the downward spiral in which I was spinning. When you’re draining a tub you see the water going out, and you still have a chance to plug the drain before it all disappears, yet many of us (myself included) tend to get in this zone of just watching everything go down, mostly because we’re just downright exhausted. Then when the water is out of the tub we frantically plug the drain and pray that the water would just come back.

So for the year 2020 I encourage you to develop more 2020 vision when it comes to your mental health and/or addiction, or whatever problem you may be having. Become a present and active participant in your recovery and your health. I have even allowed close family and trusted friends to let me know if they see me headed in the wrong direction. As someone with depression and anxiety our brains often play tricks on us, but typically those outside of your head will see the signs that something is going wrong before you do. If you have a trusted friend or family member that you would be willing to hear this from then I encourage to to talk to them. I told my parents and best friend, “I don’t always notice when I’m getting bad so I need you guys to watch out for me. If you see something or start to notice a negative pattern please tell me so I can fix it before it gets worse.” I have been hospitalized three times and each time could’ve been prevented if I had been more present and proactive with my mental health.

So let’s go into 2020 with a clear vision of what we want and how we’re going to achieve it, and not just a bunch of empty resolutions with which we know we won’t follow through. Let’s be there for each other. Depression/Suicidal Ideation/Anxiety/Etc is a deadly, silent, and invisible illness. We MUST rely on our support systems to get us through the hard times. If you don’t have a support system then reach out to me. I love you guys! You’re stronger than you realize and we can do this. Let’s start this new year off right. Let’s make 2020 the best yet!

-Chase

*Feel free to email me anytime or follow my page on Facebook or Twitter 🙂